Car Inspections

A couple weeks ago, both the van and the truck were due for their annual state inspection. In Butler County, where we live, this does not include an emissions test, thank goodness. So our cost and inconvenience isn't as bad as it could be.

But, not to be outdone by its neighboring counties, Monro Brake and Muffler-- the chosen vendor for our services-- is probably scamming their clients in excess of what we might save without the emissions test, anyway.

I'm always suspicious of people that cannot spell your name or spell certain car parts on a receipt, yet they seem to know all the nuances of your car to the detail. You know what I mean? "'Brake'... we can't spell, but we sure know how long you have till yours die on you. How about we get new ones on for ya?"

The van, which was our first victim, actually went in and out without a hitch. The reason was most likely due to it being a 2007... hard to find something on it where a mechanic can fool the owner of being "old" and in need of repair or replacement.

Then the truck went in. It, being a 2002, was going to be less likely to escape unscathed. I had it scheduled for 10AM, and the inspection takes about 1.5 hours. They knew I worked at Westinghouse, so figured I could just pick it up after work.


Sign you have hired a bad mechanic.

That was my mistake... I said, "Sure".

Anyhow, at 5:15PM, I arrived to pick up the truck, only to find out that they just started the inspection. So I waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, the manager asked me to come back with him to see something... yep, sure enough, they found something to charge me for, something that HAD to be replaced before they would pass my inspection. Surprised? I wasn't.

My brakes on the front wheels were shot. Actually, they were in bad shape, I'll admit. They didn't have enough on the shoes to pass the inspection, so in order to pass, I needed new ones.

And, of course, if my front ones were shot, the back ones were shot, too, or so they tried to convince me.

I'm certain that if I had looked like someone that didn't know beans about cars (and, in reality, I'm fairly close to that), they would have told me that the blinker fluid needed flushed, or the Kuhneutson valve needed replaced, or the radiator needed insulating, or the muffler bearings needed greased, or the Johnson rod needed torqued, or the piston return springs needed adjustment... something, and I wouldn't have known the difference.  "Oh, the Kuhneutson valve...  yeah, sure... gotta have one of those, " I would say, and off they'd go with some stupid scam repair.

Back to the front of the store, where the manager went to work finding the most expensive and time consuming brakes on the market to install on the truck. After 5 minutes of number crunching, the results were in: new brakes on the front, new brakes on the back, labor, and inspection-- $750!

I actually laughed out loud on that one. Had I been inhaling instead of exhaling when I saw the bid, I probably would have choked instead.

My first question was, "What kind of brakes are you trying to sell me?" Manager: "Oh, these are ceramic brakes, best on the market." Me: "Have you seen my truck? Do you know how many miles are on it? I don't need the best." Manager: "Yeah, but these have a lifetime warranty." Me: "Again, look at my truck. It won't last a lifetime. With any luck, I'll get another 100,000 miles out of it. What other less-expensive brakes do you have?" Manager: "We have metallic ones, but they are inferior, and your brakes might squeak." Me: "If they are inferior, why are you selling them? What other inferior things are you doing? And, I can put up with a squeak here and there because half of the truck squeaks anyway."

With that, and without a logical comeback, he agreed to put on the metallic brakes. And, after finding out the real story, I realized I didn't need the back brakes done at all to pass inspection. But, I was warned, "You only have 2 weeks on the back brakes, so get it back in here as quickly as possible."

Funny, when I had the truck in there last March, I only had 2 weeks left on the brakes then, too.

Slowly, my bill dwindled from $750 to $125. And, again, not to be outdone by someone else, they then informed me that the van with 35,000 miles is due for a radiator and power steering system flush at a cost of $250. Factory recommended.

Had I been a bobble head, I would have paid him about $1000 that day, all for the purposes of driving the dumb things.

Which got me thinking. If I were Pennsylvania Amish, would I have to get my horse and buggy inspected?

"Yep, Mr. Jensen, your horse's shoes are worn out, it's missing a tooth, and it's 'emissions' are above state limits. Plus, the buggy squeaks, your knuckles are cracked, and I don't like your pants."